Jimmy Bob

There was an old tumor who lived in my foot,
no matter what was done, he managed to stay put.
He lived there content in his small little house,
and soon enough, he invited in Eileen, his spouse.

His name was Jimmy Bob Irishman, from a hick town you see,
In his trailer apartment near Akron, or maybe another lovely city.
Soon they had a baby named Jonah who lived with the family,
all cozy and comfy and so happily.

Then one day they got zapped out with a probe,
dissolving the Irishman's and their car load.
And don't forget old Grandma Franny,
who landed with a big thud on her fanny.

With the Irishman's gone I got set on track,
until the day came that Jimmy Bob came back!

A couple of months ago, doctors discovered a benign tumor in my ankle that secreted pain chemicals into my blood stream. Baruch Hashem, it's nothing deathly, but extremely painful. I had the tumor surgically removed and lived pain-free for about five weeks. Recently, the pain has come back, and this time the doctors are not really sure what's wrong. One day, when I was down in the dumps, my friends wrote this poem for me. They're so wacky, but it sure gave me a good laugh! They say it's kind of like the poem "there was an old woman who lived in a shoe." Enjoy!

Watch your language!

This post is dedicated to my sisters "Mindy" and "Sarah." Together, they taught me to have better understandings of language, and how to use it properly.

Do you know how many words there are in the dictionary? Because I don't. I mean, come on - what seventeen year old girl, or anyone for that matter, sits there and reads Webster's?!

Sometimes it's not about quantity, it's really about the quality.

Each word that comes out of our mouths has the potential to be so powerful and full of essence. Unfortunately, in today's society, the English language has become such a twist. People say things that they had no intention of saying. For example, (on a smaller note) you're sitting in class, staring at the clock anxiously waiting for class to be over. Then suddenly.... ACHOOOO!
As you quickly cover your nose you kindly ask your friend if you could borrow a tissue. And indeed, she gives you the tissue, you do your business, and you throw it out. Now, do you realize that you just asked if you could borrow a tissue. EWW! The last time I checked, the conditions of borrowing something only goes if you agree to give it back. Therefor, I will not, under and circumstances, lend you a TISSUE!

The point of my blog is not to teach you what not to do if your nose begins to run. The purpose of this was, well... you'll see.

Another commonly misused word is retarded. Boy do I hate that word, and I hate it even more when people think they're using it correctly - but they're not! According to Webster's Third New International Dictionary (yes, call me a nerd - I really did look it up) the word retarded means slow of limited in intellectual development, in emotionally development, or in academic process, or in other words: handicapped. Well that changes everything! Because so says my class that yesterday's math quiz was retarded. Really???? You could have fooled me! I did not know that my math quiz was handicapped!

The word retarded rolls off people's tongue as if they're saying hello. No, it does not mean crazy, and some take it very personally. I come from a family that has much involvement with children with special needs, so when I hear that word I feel it's as if someone is stabbing me in the back. I know this sounds crazy, but if you don't know what a word really means ask someone, or look it up! Trust me, you'll sound a lot smarter if you do.

Now do you get the point of my blog?!

A Smashing Wake Up Call

Car accidents. Unfortunately, they happen pretty often. Did you ever wonder what goes through a person's mind as s/he is being hit?

Erev Pesach, a couple of years ago, my sister Mindy was rushing home from work, her fear of being late for Yom Tov mounting. Although in a rush, she carefully changed lands and switched on her left turn signal. She inched forward very slowly, preparing to make a left turn. It all happened very fast. A truck was obstructing her view and she took a risk that she shouldn't have taken.

Before Mindy knew it she was hanging upside-down from her seat belt. Her car had flipped over several times. Her windshield was completely shattered and the car resembled an accordion. An old man, driving at sixty-miles per hour had collided head on with Mindy's car.

Mindy was bleeding and bruised, but what was going through her mind? Maybe "Ahh! I was just hit" or "Oh my goodness, am I alive?" No, nothing of the sort was in Mindy's mind. One thought and one thought only crowded her thoughts. "Oh now," she whispered to herself, "my shaitel just flew off."

She was trapped in her car in the middle of a main street. With her eyes squeezed shut and tears streaming down her face, Mindy quickly threw her arms over her head to cover her hair as much as she could. How is it possible that a person who was just hit by a car was worried about her head being covered more that anything else?

"Can we help you?" Mindy's eyes fluttered open. Two Jews were standing near her car. Hashem had surely been watching. Before she could blink, Mindy heard the sirens of an ambulance. After she was helped out of her smashed vehicle, and EMT handed her a blanket. Mindy used it to cover her head.

Boruch Hashem, everything turned out fine, and the message is still fresh in all of our minds. This should serve as a major wake up call for everyone. Tznius is so important and sadly enough, not observed nearly enough. I'm amazed and inspired by my sister who even at the worst of times kept thoughts of tznius in her mind. May we all strive to be like this. Of course, we should not have to wait for bad situations, but be extra careful especially when things are good and are going our way. So remember everyone: drive safely and be tznius.